Just some thoughts and ideas going around in my head while trying to figure out where I am and where everyone else is going.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

What was I thinking of?

I don’t really know what I was thinking of when I went last week to the Apple Store at the Cherry Hill Mall. I had wanted to see what the iPad looked like and how it worked. Even though I know that it is just a glorified, oversized iPod, I wanted to know if I could seduce myself into getting it. I wanted to see if I could be one of the first people I know who would have it. I wanted others to say ooh or ah and I would be the focus of attention and people would look at me with awe and fascination. Which is really strange because I don’t think I like being the center of attention, it allows people to see my flaws which I take serious efforts in hiding.
That’s probably why I don’t like taking pictures of myself. It’s true that I can look at myself 2 or 3 years after a shot has been taken and say, “that wasn’t so bad,” but to look at photo of me taken today or last week or a few months ago will make me shudder as I see how this sags here or how those poke out there and I will run for shelter, denial or destruction of the evidence. I need my privacy, my anonymity while I pretend to look like something that I’m not. However, for some reason I don’t seem to respect the fact the others may feel about themselves the same way as I do.

Take the picture above for example. When I found out that Apple wouldn’t have the iPad until this weekend, I sat outside the store wondering what I should do. So I took a picture of the store and made sure that I had the mother and her baby in the frame so that I could put a human aspect to the picture. I didn’t ask her if I could take the picture and in fact I did my best to conceal that I was photographing her. Now suppose she was on the run from her wife-beating husband and didn’t want her location known, I’ve just jeopardized her security. Or take the picture below that I took last year. Supposing Papa from the old country sees his beloved daughter out in public with a man and no hijab or mask bringing shame to him and his family. Next you’ll be reading about her and her ritual punishment in the papers and I will be responsible. Will I care? Yes I will, but then life goes on.
I will care unlike the bastard who took a picture of me and an Ex all those years ago while we wearing matching thongs at the July 4th event at the beach in Malibu and published it in the gay magazine, Frontier.  Did he care that he had exposed me to ridicule in front of friends and family and possible job loss? Probably not. It's a good thing that no one I knew read this magazine.

I wonder if they still have that event on July 4th?

Matching thongs? What the hell was I thinking of?


  1. I love this post. I can't believe u saw yourself in the mag, well i'm happy u at least saw it and not someone told u about it.

    The Ipad should be good. Will see how well it goes

  2. Lovely Post. At least someone else didn't tell you about it. The Ipad is an oversized Ipod I agree.

  3. You didn't get busted because the child couldn't speak! I love pictures like that, they say so much more about the moment than if they were just giving their best smile to the camera. And well, nobody can see your face in the last one so...

  4. Corve - Maybe I should have explained myself better. While no one I knew saw the picture in the magazine, I found out about it from my Ex who had a friend in California that mailed the magazine to him after he saw and recognized the Ex.

    ♫Hershey's Kiss♫ - As in the reply above, it didn't quite work out that way except that the picture wasn't noticed by someone I knew. But that seems like it was a lifetime ago, almost as long as my wait to go see the new iPad.

    Eduardo - Yes you are right. It's so much better, I think, to try and capture that Kodak Moment, unrehearsed and real instead of that practiced pose that people have been doing since Queen Victoria.

  5. Sneaky! Taking pictures of folks without their knowledge. Hey, i do it all the time however; I do refrain from posting it or having it published and I try not to do good face.

    I'm lovin the matching thongs, and you say you have flaws...can't tell. The two of you are featuring sexy on the beach.

    The ipad craze and more than i understand, i'm not technically inclined and I'm perfectly happy with my simply gadgets and the extra monies i've saved not purchasing ipods, ipads iphones etc. i suppose if i received one as a gift I'd think differently of the product. Most of my friends swear by that Apple/Mac are the best.

    Don't let me find out you stood in line all day on Saturday(4/3/10) to get a ipad. LMAO. My neighbor left a five this morning heading to the Apple store @ West Towne Mall Madison. Oh well.

  6. Thank you for putting that damn Sisqo song in my head! : ) Lovely pic.

    I wanna an Ipad thingy too! I'm still saving for a Kindle - even though there are about 50 books on my floor (unread) because there is no more room on the shelves. Please post a pic if you buy one so I can drool over yours!

  7. Chet - "I do refrain from posting it or having it published..." Funny, I could have sworn I've seen many a fine brother sitting on the bus that you use on your blog. And no, I did not line up at the Apple Store last weekend. I'm waiting for the 2nd or 3rd generation version where I can get more for less if it's successful.

    KST - I never thought I would ever say this when I was younger, but I haven't got a clue what Sisqo sings. As for that Kindle or iPad you know once you get that, you can store those 50 unread books sitting on the floor in 1 slim electrical device that can sit on the shelf unread. Oh, the beauty of new technology.

  8. Matching thongs brother?!?

    Man my wife won't even wear the same color shirt I'm wearing when we go out and we've been married for more than 20 years.

  9. Reggie - Trust me, your wife has a lot of sense. You shouldn't have to look like the Bopsie Twins to show that you belong to each other. I wish I had met her before I made that fateful decision.

  10. Awww matching thongs..I love it..That requires more confidence than I have tho! :)

  11. Was that the only picture of you and your ex in thongs? I'm wondering who would have recognized you considering it's of your back? Did you consider that they took the picture from the back to protect your anonymity? I doubt that anyone would have recognized you besides yourself and someone who was at that event.


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