Just some thoughts and ideas going around in my head while trying to figure out where I am and where everyone else is going.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Why Ask?

So Patrick for some reason wants to wait for me in the lobby and walk out of the gym with me tonight. We usually leave at separate times and go our separate ways. But not tonight he wanted us to leave together.

Now I’ve known Patrick for about 12 or 15 years. He is an Italian-American and kind of dark. Sometimes I’ll have fun at his expense and tell him about his ancestry and the supposed obvious African influence that must run in his family. I will sometimes speak of his one, or so he says, relationship with a black man, James, and that it was inevitable only because of like attracts like, birds of a feather and so on. I will warn him sometimes that if his mother ever found out about him and James she might be so pleased for acknowledging his heritage or just shoot him because of the shame he’s brought down on her house. I don’t think he likes me to speak about her that way but I enjoy it. It might be a little sadistic but I only do that when he says something silly or racially insensitive and he needs to get his left nut tweaked a little.

“Is there some reason why we are meeting here?” I asked as I saw him sitting watching the TV in the gym lobby.

“No,” he says.”I just wanted to walk out of the gym together.”

Thank God, I thought. The idea had crossed me that perhaps I had agreed to go to dinner or something and that I had forgotten a promise that I had made.

Anyway, as we leave the building, I tell Patrick that I want to go to Naked Chocolate and get some cup cakes. There is nothing in the world like doing a really intensive workout and then pigging out on stuff that you shouldn’t be eating in the first place. But what the hell you only live once and I don’t want to say on my death bed, “I should have had more cake.”

So we head in the direction of the store and he starts to tell me of maintenance man where he works and that he thinks that he’s Russian, and that whenever he works late, the man always comments about how he is working late. At least I think that’s what Patrick tells me, but in all honesty I had lost interest in what he was telling me as soon as he said, “let me tell you.”

I realized soon enough that Patrick was starting to get upset when he suddenly complained that I wasn’t listening to him and that what had taken him 50 seconds to tell everyone else was taking 15 minutes to tell me. I could have said that this wasn’t the Johnny Carson show with a boring ass monologue at the beginning but a dialogue and that my so called interruptions were making his crap interesting, but we aren’t that close.

Well, I finally got from him that the Russian had one night followed him into the men’s room and while he was at the urinal, the Russian had reached out and touched his earring. Then later on this month, the Russian and he were in the elevator together and the Russian proceeds to adjust his own family jewels. Not in the way that you do when one of your testicles slips out of your briefs at an inopportune time, or when you wear boxers and the material has bunched up so much that you feel that the circulation has been cut off. No, this was a deliberate move by the Russian for attention and Patrick wanted to know what to do.

“Report his ass so that this doesn’t happen again or at least if it does there is some record of it happening,” I said.

“Noooo. I don’t want him to lose his job,” Patrick said.

Alright enough of that story. I am upset now. I just wanted to know, why do people do that to me? Someone will always go out of their way to ask me shit and then when I give them my answer, completely dismiss it. It’s like the whole point of asking me something is just to get me to think about bull that I had no interest in and then yank the rug from under to me to see how I fall. Come to think of it, I think I’ve had to tell all of my ex’s at one time or another, if you don’t want my answer then don’t ask me shit. I guess that’s one of the reasons I’m by myself. But damn, there no chance of Patrick and me bumping dick together, so why do that to me? Is this some kind sick game that I’m just unaware of?


  1. Hmm...sometimes, I think people want us to tell them what they want to hear. They say they want our ideas or opinons, but in reality, they are interested in it as long as it is in keeping what they (already) have in mind. Any idea what Patrick wants to do about it? Did you tell him what you just told us here in the blog post "Why in the world did you ask me if you're just gonna dismiss my response??" Just curious.


  2. I agree in part with Michele, people tend to want us to tell them what they want to hear not necessarily valuing our opinions or otherwise.

    Patrick has no intentions of reporting that for more than one reason. Patrick may actually warrant such attention by the things he does around that Russian guy.

    I feel you it is hard to pay attention to people when they go on and on and you have already given them enough ear time.

    Damn right have cake and cupcakes in fact I have three cupcakes on my kitchen counter now and I do plan on eatting them. I can't say that i know what a charge it is to chow down on rich chocolate after such an intense workout, but I am certain there is a rush.

  3. Michele - I think you are right. There are lots of people who just want to hear thenselves speak, I get like that sometimes but if I have already decided on what route I'm going to take, I would at least have the decency not to ask someone their opinion just so I can contradict them. And yes I did tell him that he should report the incident for his own protection as well as others but I didn't get into telling him that he made me feel this small. Instead I just moved on, ended the conversation and went home. Maybe I was wrong too.

    Chet - So you're saying that Patrick really wanted and was going about seeking attention from the Russian. I hadn't thought about it that way, but it makes a lot of sense. Except for the fact that if anyone is looking for absolution or a blessing, I'm the wrong one. And yes, there is noting that says treat more than getting cups cakes or pizza or beer or anything not good for you after a good workout. Makes it seem even more special

  4. man i cant even start gto ans why, dang, no home training is all i can say

  5. T - I think it's just people so wrapped up in their own lives that when they ask you to be part of theirs, they forget that maybe you have a life and thoughts of your own.

  6. I hate this too, but the reality is that people ask questions hoping that you will say what they are feeling. It is only when your mind is not on the same track as theirs that they reject said answer. It is sad but true. Depending on the person, I will ask them what they think they should do. Makes my life so much easier.
    P.S. I hate when I am attempting to communicate and the other person is not listening. That is not communication.

  7. OMO - So you are saying that I should turn the question around and ask them what they want to do instead of giving my opinion. That sounds good for people you know like you said, but for the rest of them, unless my last name has been changed to Freud I don't have time to be doing the psychology thing. I like to shoot from hip and see who falls just like my dear old dad used to do.

  8. I don't know what to tell you. My approach is the same as One Man's Opinion. Because as Michele says alot of people only want you to confirm their own thinking. So to avoid a waste of time and energy, I simply ask them what they are thinking. I'm not going on a wild goose chase when in reality they are somehow really turned on by the entire event and only want to share the sexual charge they got with someone else. (Not that that's what he was doing).

  9. Whozhe - Okay, I guess I need to learn to step back and hear what people are trying to tell me and not what I think they asking me. This kind of confirms why I would never make a good politician cause sometimes I want to say what I want to say.


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