It’s Valentine’s Day so in order for me to enjoy the rest of the day’s festivities, let me get something off of my chest. No, don’t get funny, that’s not my chest that you’re looking at but it is more interesting than mine at the moment. I seem to sag in all the wrong places right now and I’m not sure if it’s because of age or because I drink about 4 or 5 cans of coke a day and I inhale baked goods without end. I don’t seem to be able to stop. Addiction, it’s a terrible thing to have and makes you do terrible things like drift the way that I’m drifting away from my point now. What I really want to say is I don’t like Heh- Heh. In fact I can’t stand Heh-Heh. If there is one thing in this world that I won’t be able tolerate any more for the rest of the year, it’s Heh-Heh. What is Heh-Heh you ask?Heh-Heh is thing you hear when you are standing in the express line at the supermarket with your 10 items or less and the person in front of you turns and faces you and you realize they have about 6 months worth of groceries in their basket. Then they will say “Heh-Heh” and turn back around trying not to look guilty.
Heh-Heh is when in a club or bar some big fat drunken bastard has stepped on your foot and crushed a couple of bones that you never took notice of before or has spilled cheap alcohol on your expensive shirt and all he can say is “‘scuse me! Heh-Heh.”
Heh-Heh is the excuse you hear when you’ve just come off the gym floor and all you want to do is rip off your sweaty stinky jock strap off in peace. Meanwhile there is some bozo that has decided to ignore the rows upon rows of free and open lockers against the wall and decided to change his clothes at the locker next to yours. “It’s funny how these things seem to turn out this way. It’s like Murphy’s Law, Heh-Heh,” he will say. I will just grunt and grimace as we both try to do some sort of awkward semi-naked tango over the same spot of smelly rug.
Speaking of being naked, I had just taken a shower at the gym about 3 months ago and I was putting on lotion in front of one of the mirrors. I had dropped the towel and doing legs and behind when the senior senator for Pennsylvania decided to introduce himself to me. Now I’ve been going to that gym for at least 12 maybe 14 years and he’s never introduced himself to me before. I’ve seen the governor naked a couple times and a few other notables including the senator undressed
so I know being nude in and of itself doesn’t really cast aspersions. And I don’t mean to do that here. But as the senator is talking to me, he’s staring at the nipple ring, my dick is swinging in the open breeze and I’m starting to feel uncomfortable.Suddenly I see a break in the conversation where I think I can take over and guide it to where I want it to go, which was to an end. I really wanted to tell him was that he was creeping me out and that I had no interest in becoming one of his lackey troll boys who hang around him looking for crumbs and a leg up in politics and or power like I’ve seen others do. But instead I said, “I live in New Jersey, so I can’t vote for you senator, Heh-Heh.”
Oh, and happy St. Valentine’s Day.
lol @ heh-heh, I am so THERE with you!
ReplyDeleteNice chest... and nice rear...heh-heh
lol
RunningMom - I still can't think of an appropriate response. You have my mind reeling...heh-heh.
ReplyDeletehmmmmm...dont know if youll ever escape the heh heh...but as far as the senator....he was so rude to have discussions with a nude man.
ReplyDeleteI guess he wanted more than convo...heh heh!!
I feel your pain my brotha, I just can't reach for you. Seriously I too frown at heh heh... that shit drives me to turn into a mad man, I am generally reticent and reserved, but when that heh heh shit happens after whatever act some stranger creates I loose it! On campus the students bump right into me, I forgive them of their heh heh being that they are the future and they are running late for class most of the time, but these people that have a tendacy to shove, push or butt the line then gins with that shitty ass heh heh I loose my mind!
ReplyDeleteI done told you to wrap a towel around your naked ass and stop teasing the old senator, by the way remind me to find the locker right next to yours.
Oyin - You are probably right, I will probably never be able to escape from people doing or saying the most inappropriate things and then trying to laugh it off as if it or me were nothing, but I can dream. As for my boy Arlen, that was nothing but a powerplay out of which I think I lost against a veteran of power politics.
ReplyDeleteChet - All I'm trying to do is still fit in.
You know we had Jaime Foxx at the gym a couple of weeks ago, I think he's doing a movie here. Now him walking around with a towel is understandable because if he didn't, the pictures of him and his goodies would be spread across the world at lightning speed. But a nobody like me trying to hide from people just as ordinary as I am would be awkward and strange amd maybe even homophobic, so I do what everyone else does and not think about it.
folk u crack me up and im the one w 6 mths of groceries
ReplyDeleteIs that your ass I'm fawning over? If so, bravo, good sir. Fantastic cakes.
ReplyDeleteI love the way this anecdote ended, btw. I hate me some he-he, too.
Torrance - I can understand how people will do things even though they know they are wrong, but please don't tell me that you're the one that will turn around and laugh at the poor bastards behind you like it's your right.
ReplyDeleteJones - This ended that way because I started to realize that I wasn't innocent either and that I do the same thing that I complain about others doing. And no, those aren't my cakes. Times are hard and the only way people will see those is when they start to pay for the subscription. LOL.
heh heh is all I can say. Nice blog.
ReplyDelete♫Hershey's Kiss♫ - Heh-heh back at you. Thanks for dropping by.
ReplyDeleteNipple ring and swinging dick...feel sort of like you when you came over to my spot talking about sucking on titties...
ReplyDeleteDon't do that shit...got me having all kinds of thoughts about a gay man dammit!!!
BBB - You know nowadays even though we still believe in labels, that doesn't mean you can't try on a different designer now and again.
ReplyDelete